Caught In The Fire's Shadow
by Rinnealex
Summary: My first story. It details events in the lives of men and shinobi who were fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to be inextricably linked to the lives of the Hokages. It does not necessarily flow chronologically with the canon Naruto story, but it does try to link all the lives and stories with a common theme. Characters flow in and out, the Uchiha, Naruto and Hinata are central.
1. Chapter 1

**Caught In The Fire's Shadow**

**Chapter One**

Minato completed the last seal. He felt an immediate but intangible disconnection between himself and the human plane. There was no need to look back to know he was anchored to the _Shinigami_, the reaper of souls.

He wasted little time in sealing off the _Yang_ chakra of the Kyuubi. The chakra chains his wife was using to hold down the fox eased off a bit as the fox shrunk to half its size.

Kushina's face grew long with weariness and despair. She knew she was done for, there was little doubt about that. She was a _Jinchuriki_ and her _bijuu_ has been extracted. Her Uzumaki heritage is the only thing still keeping her alive. She gazed on her husband, his face was hard but calm. The Fourth Fire Shadow, the _Yondaime Hokage_, who despite her pleas has chosen to sacrifice his life to protect his village and the world.

Minato and Kushina's attention was drawn to child on the ground. They've entrusted the fate of the world into his hands. They had absolutely no doubt that he'll succeed.

The hulking beast loosely held down behind them narrowed its eyes. Not again, it thought, I'll never be a tool in the hands of another human. It swung its paw down, razor sharp claws aimed for the little bundle of life hurdled in blankets.

"Naruto!" Screamed his parents.

Instinctively they flickered into the path of the oncoming claw. It eviscerated and impaled them but they held still. A single half seal from Kushina firmed up the chains and held the beast in place. The fox braced itself up to incinerate the humans with a tailed beast ball, its _bijuu dama_, they couldn't possibly escape that.

Nothing happened.

Kyuubi gritted its canines together as realization dawned. The thrice damned Uzumaki woman is suppressing his chakra with her chains! Oh how it detests the Uzumakis and their snivelling seals. Bloody cheats the lot of them! It swung its head, sniffing a bloodline a thousand times more outrageously despicable than the vilest Uzumaki in existence. It snarled as even darker emotions were riled up.

"Sorry foxbait," croaked Kushina giving the fox a bloody grin, "you're not killing this kid!"

The fox's answering roar was hushed as a chain snapped its jaws together.

"I'm so sorry Minato," her voice was strange and eerily quiet, "I really wanted you to live."

His answering chuckle broke off into a throaty wheeze. "I kind of thought our retirement would be different. My hair full and white like Jiraiya-sensei, our faces lined with the years and happiness."

"I thought the ancient toad geezer said you'll be bald by 40."

"He's just a jealous old wart."

Both were quiet.

"I love you."

Minato's hand rose and touched his wife's cheek. "I was looking forward to an eternity with you, but I guess it's me and Kyuubi fighting to entertain Shinigami for all time."

Kushina grasped her husband's hand weakly. "I will wait for you. For all eternity. Find a way back to me," her voice broke painfully "don't make me come and get you."

Her husband drew her towards their infant son. They knew it was time if ever for the goodbyes. Kushina looked at her son with all her love, willing it to be imprinted on Naruto's soul.

"My angel, my baby, my son. I wish I could be there for you every hour of every day. To watch your first steps," her tears dripped down to splash her son, "to take you to the academy on your first day and bring you back home every day afterwards. To teach you how to hold a _kunai_ and celebrate your graduation to _genin_ with you. To cook for your team and tell you stories of my days as a _genin_. To stay awake at night, watching and praying as you embark on your first mission. To watch you fall in love and pursue the girl of your dreams. I know you'll be a great ninja. You're your father's son and an Uzumaki. Eat well Naruto-kun and love with all your heart. Don't let Jiraiya sensei corrupt you and stay away from the three shinobi vices!"

She was almost incoherent with her sobbing.

"I love you so, so much."

Minato smiled weakly. His life force was fading fast. He doesn't have his wife stamina nor her healing factor but his exceptional _chakra_ control has helped him to partially blunt the pain and stem the blood loss.

"Kushina my darling," he held his voice steady, "It's time."

Her sobs subsided. "I didn't allow you to say a word." Her voice was a bit dull.

"Naruto," Minato touched his son's cheek, "your mother has said everything in our hearts. I believe in you. We will always be with you."

He made a hand seal.

"Eight Trigrams Seal. Complete."

Everything went dark.

Itachi hugged his baby brother closer as he trekked on into the night. He knew he should be afraid, he should be choking with the same fright that gripped him when that chill descended that, the creepy sensation of evil seeping into the air. Back then at that moment he knew that their entire lives would change yet again, and also not for the better.

He had raced into Sasuke's nursery, grabbed his brother from the crib and fled. He had to get out of the village, every moment the air became heavier with anticipation, greedily counting seconds. He scaled the eastern wall of Konoha and left the village behind.

Time stilled and changed. It was here.

Itachi was no longer afraid, all his energies were going into keeping his brother safe. The carnage had started in the village but he refused to look back, he plodded on. He lost all awareness of time and space, innately channeling _chakra_ to strengthen his muscles and keep weariness at bay. But a five year olds body has its limited, he collapsed under a rocky protrusion and drew his brother closer. He would protect Sasuke.

It was almost peaceful, the distant commotion of battle more surreal and less likely to invade his earnestly guarded space. Weariness caught up and he almost nodded off, well until he felt the same creepy crawling evil stretching tentacles for him. Itachi scrambled up and glanced frantically for an escape route, all the while knowing it was too late to flee. He sensed the distortion in space and time even before it became visible to the human eye.

The sound was deafening as a giant plume of summoning fog rose sky high. It slowly dissipated as the figures emerged from within. The _Yondaime_, his wife and what looked like a wrapped bundle in the arms of Kushina _Oba-chan_. The significance of his role model being here and his favorite aunt looking pregnant no longer was however lost on Itachi as he surveyed the hulking monster before him. The Kyuubi no Yoko. He was petrified with fear as malevolence, anger and hatred rolled off the monster in waves.

Kushina _Oba-chan_ swung into action releasing _chakra_ chains, trapping the fox, the man, the baby and the two hidden Uchiha; helpless and unnoticed, Itachi had no choice but to be a first hand witness to the events that unfolded. It confirmed what he had feared, nothing would ever be the same again.

The legendary Uzumaki life force was fading. Kushina could feel life ebb away much like the silent leaf driven by the swift streams. She closed her eyes to her son's cries and hurdled closer to the cold and motionless body of her husband. She knew Minato was dead, his life faded as he completed the seal, but she focused on his dimming warmth and reminded herself of days when the sun was not as dark.

"Oba-chan?" the quiet voice of the child jolted her just enough to be reconnected to the world.

"Itachi-chan?" her voice was hoarse and barely audible. What on Kami's earth was a five year old boy doing in a place like this! "You are here? All this while? How?"

"Hai," he was so brave trying so hard to keep the quiver from his voice. "I wanted to run and get help but I couldn't go with Sasuke and I didn't want to leave my _otouto_, I failed ..."

"No Itachi-chan." She was firm and she channeled the dying embers of her strength into her voice. "You are a brave, brave boy. The bravest I know. It is time for you to be strong and take care of your brothers." Kushina nodded slightly towards Naruto.

Itachi looked at the baby on the ground. The light of his _chakra_ was brilliantly blinding, no longer the dull red of a dying sunset but a brilliant blue interspersed here and there with sudden fiery bursts of red. He suddenly glanced back at the two adults before him. The Yondaime was empty and lightless, but his _oba-chan_'s light was dying out fast.

"_Oba-chan_, your light is fading. What can I do?" the boy asked desperately, fear no longer restrained in his voice.

Kushina barely caught his words, she just wanted to lay in Minato's arms and sleep forever. Yes her light was fading. A thought however stuck and refused to yield her up yet. How did he know her light was fading? Her eyelids lifted and she looked into the eyes of her godson. Three _tomoes_ spun crazily in eyes as red as blood. She gripped his hands and gave him her last message; a sad smile and eyes full of faith. Her hands went limp, the light flickered and died.

Kushina never heard his cries or saw the curved black three-pronged _shuriken_ replacing three black stars that spun across a sea of red.

Sarutobi knew he was too late. He knew even before he got to where Minato has teleported the kyuubi were; what he never expected to find along with the corpses of Konoha's first couple was the Uchiha heir, Itachi, and two infants sleeping peacefully in his arms. He recognized the Fugaku's new infant and the _Yondaime_'s son, his last living legacy.

Kushina. Minato. These two casualties crowned his despair and Konoha's loss. How the village would recover from this he had no idea, but recover it must.

Four _Anbu_ squads had followed him to track down the battle field where the _Yondaime_ had a final showdown with the _Kyuubi_. It was not difficult. The most fearsome, and probably the last adversary, any shinobi could ever hope to face was a _bijuu_. How the Yondaime had managed to defeat the creature while keeping three children alive was not something he could fathom yet. Hiruzen Sarutobi quickly gave instructions to the Anbu guards to secure the perimeter before moving towards the children.

He knelt in front of Itachi. "Hey there Itachi-kun," he started gently, "are you okay?"

The boy who had not moved since Sarutobi arrived, only giving them a sparing glance, looked at the Sandaime. His face was cool and calm, very unsettling on a five year old.

"No." he answered simply, his tone and statement an odd contradiction to his calm expression. "But I'll be."

Sarutobi concluded that he was no longer dealing with a child. He had seen too much of the same during the third shinobi war. Though he knew it was futile for now, he still had to ask.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Like what?" the boy answered with genuine curiosity.

Sarutobi was quiet, not sure how to respond. Something kept resonating about the boy. Not a very pleasant sensation. He was definitely missing something. The boy was close to Kushina and Minato, idolizing the latter and loving the _Yondaime's_ Uzumaki bride with a plain intensity.

"What happened here? Could you still remember? Can you tell me?"

The boy looked at the elderly shinobi for a few moments, re-evaluating him, considering whether he could be trusted with the intimate knowledge he just acquired. Something in him was broken, he would never trust instinctively again.

"Why?" he decided to air his suspicion.

"The _Yondaime_ and his wife are gone, half of Konoha has been destroyed by a force as legendary and strong as nature. I need the information to prepare and plan for Konoha's future, it'll be really nice if you could help me out."

"Is nature evil?"

Sarutobi was startled. "No! Why would you think it was?"

"It was evil." Sarutobi wanted to protest the boy's words, what would make a boy believe that nature was evil.

"_It_ was evil." Itachi's voice was cold and there was no doubt he was not talking about nature. "I thought it would come for me, I was so scared for myself and Sasuke. It almost came for us!"

The boys voice was becoming more frantic. "I was so, so scared. It was a nightmare …"

The _Sandaime_ was reached for the boy. "It's okay now child. You're safe." He drew the children into his arms. "It's okay and you're safe."

Itachi looked straight into Sarutobi's eyes. "It is not okay. I'll show you."

His eyes turned red and three _tomoes_ spun within them. Sarutobi's gasp of shock was cut short as he was dragged into a world of _gengutsu_.

Sarutobi let loose a ragged breath as the five year old released him from the world of illusion within which the events prior to his arrival was replayed.

Red eyes spinning with black dots stopped and turned onyx. "I told you it's not okay."

"You are right it's not okay," he affirmed the words of the child. "But I promise I will keep you safe."

A glimmer of hope dared to dance across the diminutive features. "How?"

The _Sandaime_ smiled for the first time since he has arrived. "I am the god of _shinobi_, I will keep you safe."

He called out quietly and his _Anbu_ captain _shushined_ in front of him, knee bent before the _Sandaime_. He gave the _anbu_ instructions, explicit instructions with regard to the bodies of the Yondaime and his wife.

"Hai _Sandaime-sama_."

Sarutobi gathered the children. "It's time to leave this place."

He flickered and was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Caught In The Fire's Shadow

Chapter Two

Madara excitement rose mercurially as soon as he sensed the chakra of the shinobi approaching. He had been away from the village for almost two years and he could not deny the inescapable boredom he was dealing with, the heat and hubris stirred by his departing speech having long died down.

Oh what wouldn't he give for a real challenge! The shinobi that passed his way were worse than jokes, a slight genjutsu was enough for the fools to battle the air till death claimed them. Fools as such deserved the kind of undignified deaths that chakra exhaustion brings. What happened to the good old die hard warriors who troubled even the Shinigami with their deaths? At this stage he would give even Hashirama's slimy, despicable younger brother a warm embrace if he appears for battle. Well before he killed him that is, Madara smirked to himself. But here's the real deal. What a beautiful way to end a filthily and disgustingly idle year, the only person that could make his blood pound in battle has shown up. Thank you Kami!

He strode out of the cave he had been dwelling for over a year now, standing on the ledge that opened onto the side of the mountains. It was a range of mountains that ran east from Wolf Country through Forest Country down south along the border of Demon Country. Madara leapt off the steep side of the mountain down into the valley below.

A massive shockwave was generated as he landed on the floor of the valley. It fell small trees and bore heavily through the larger trees, tearing chunks and branches off. A proper battle field has been prepared for this encounter, Madara thought smugly.

"Bloody show off," Hashirama muttered, "a little more humility and less arrogance never killed anyone, ya know."

"Who the bloody hell do you think you are lecturing me on manners you overpowered nincompoop!" fired back the enraged Uchiha. "Who f*&king killed the headmaster and made you moron the etiquette teacher!"

"Well it sure wasn't me," came the unperturbed response, "come to think of it, you killed the academy headmaster and I had to cover for your murdering ass." Hashirama's tone was accusatory.

Madara Uchiha took a deep breath and calmed himself. "You know damn well that creep had it coming."

Hashirama whistled merrily to himself as he plunked down on a log that wasn't there a minute ago, Hokage robes and all. "Never said he didn't." glancing in fascination to rainbow patterned leaves dancing on several trees not a hundred meters to his right, he continued. "Several reports of abuse had started surfacing. I was on my way to personally deal with the man when I caught you … doing unspeakable things with the man."

Madara snarled and sent a flurry of fire balls at the kage before him. A wooden wall erupted from the ground and snuffed out the onslaught of the fire balls. Hashirama stepped out behind the wall as jovial as ever. Obviously enjoying the fury on Madara's goaded face.

"Oops," the Hokage snickered, "didn't know you were so touchy about your dalliances."

Madara forced himself to calm down. He reminded himself that killing Hashirama was a delicacy to be savored, not a burning pot of curry spice. "Hashirama," he began patiently, "please don't ever insinuate that I play for the other team. You know I don't."

His childhood friend raised a brow in mock surprise. "Really? I thought with your flowing locks and your obvious disinterest in the female gender that maybe …"

"Oh shut it you hypocritical nutcase! You have a freaking ponytail!"

"So bloody what! Mito loves it. There was this time I had to make to use my Mokuton Jutsu to tie her to the bed, her eyes were sultry and … haa those sweet chains" Hashirama's eyes were clouded and dreamy.

"Shut the f*&k up! You freaking pervert!" Susanno's deceptively ethereal hand smashed Hashirama into the trees east of the mountains. Before the leader of the Village Hidden in The Leaves fell, the trees stretched forth branches; multiplying with foliage dense and green. It cushioned and embraced the Hokage that trailed into them.

Madara raised a brow. Hashirama had not been slouching underneath that maternity gown; the vegetation had responded very powerfully to trace amounts of his chakra. Perfect chakra control. Extremely potent chakra. This would be a dance worthy to be celebrated by the heavens. Madara broke into a grin that threatened to break his face into two.

Hashirama's wooden golem strode out of the vegetation; growing larger until it was huge enough to match Madara's Susanno for size. Hashirama was on its head, the purple bruise on his cheek rapidly fading. He rubbed the affected side of his face.

"Your Susanno still punches like a girl." Which was Senju for that hurts like a bitch!

"And you still play with flowers." Which was Uchiha for I knew that barely grazed you.

Madara stared at Hashirama and all the lightheartedness previously displayed seeped out of his body.

"I'm not holding back my friend." He told his childhood friend and lifelong enemy. The Mangekyo Sharingan that were blazing morphed into a very familiar kaleidoscope. The _Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan_.

Dark marks and shadows emerged around Hashirama's eyes and the bridge of his nose. He entered sage mode. Perfectly and with no time delay in execution. A behemoth and a force of nature now becomes one with nature.

Three arms of Susanno drew out swords and positioned to attack. The wooden golem right arm morphed to end in a broad five cornered shield, a dull granite gray with three right angles that joined the last two angles at steeps. The left hand of the wooden creature changed into a mace with several sharp spikes, hanging loosely of the arm attached by a corded wooden chain.

"A word please before we start," the Hokage started with his voice devoid of mirth, "I have a message for you. It is a message you want to hear."

Madara did not blink. "I do not care."

Hashirama grimaced slightly. "Promise not to die and I promise that you do care."

Susanno flew into battle with the golem as Madara held on to the lie that Hashirama's words did not make him uneasy.

**Madara** really hated gaining consciousness after a battle; it spoke of a disconnection with the primal drive of battle and a lack of control over whatever happened within that timeframe. Another thing he hated. Worse was how much he hates losing consciousness during a battle. It reeks of defeat, a sign that he could not hold his own against his opponent. It almost never happens to him. The only exception was the long haired fool humming across the room.

He raised himself unto his elbows on the wooden bed he was lying on. The building He did not need the familiarity of the chakra seeping through the walls to know that the building itself was obviously a construct of Hashirama's _Mokuton Jutsu_. He knew what Hashirama could do.

"Are you waiting around to gloat?" Madara tried to be casual.

Hashirama was sincerely puzzled. "Why would you think that?"

"Why are you here?" he shot back. "It doesn't matter, I don't really care. You can either kill me or go away."

He had gained strength and increased his power geometrically and still he couldn't stand up to Hashirama in battle. He wanted, no, _needed_ to defeat his friend. He had defeated monsters and living legends all across the elemental nations but when it comes to his childhood friend/enemy; it was as if Madara never acquired even an ounce of strength. Was he to forever chase Hashirama's shadow and never catch up?

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Hashirama's voice was harder. "You tore off my arm and leg! I fought you with the intent to kill. I never fight with the intent to kill! My chakra levels are lower than it has ever been. I barely won dungface, so look for another moron to flatter."

A thin ray of amusement slivered across Madara's features. "Only a moron like you would build an entire apartment on chakra while on fumes." No doubt Hashirama's fumes would put the chakra reserves of even experienced shinobi to shame.

Hashirama broke into a delighted grin. "Cool isn't it? It took me a while to get the lavatory right."

"I really do not want to know how you did that!"

"It was easy, I had to project how fat your sh…"

A panicked Madara broke through with the first thing that came to his mind, anything to get the _baka_ of his current train thought. "Why were you looking for me Hashirama?"

Hashirama broke off his statement and looked Madara straight in the eye. "Izuna."

There was no visible reaction from Madara but his childhood friend knew him better than that. The former Uchiha clan head was murderously close to a tapered precipice of viciousness and madness, rage mostly bottled within but outrageously channeled in battle.

Several lowered degrees later, Madara's ice cold voice spoke. "I hate to disappoint you but I have no intention of reliving how your weasel of a brother gutted my last living sibling. It still remains a rather touchy subject."

"He has a son Madara." Hashirama answered. "Izuna has a son."

Madara's bellow of rage was lost in the explosion that tore Hashirama's log cabin apart, the Susanno that erupted was quickly losing its ethereal form, firmed up with muscled physical substance. Rage threatened to eclipse his very sanity.

"How dare you Senju Hashirama! How dare you!" He bellowed. "Is this what you have come to? I will end all that you ever were!"

"Listen to me Madara!" Hashirama knew his friend would take it badly but never as bad as this. The sky darkened as if to cover itself from the fury unleashed, tempest rose over the seas and the land. Lightening erupted across the heavens, smashing what little rubble remained of their previous battle. Susanno fired three arrows in quick succession tearing huge chunks off the rapidly forming golem. The golem shifted unevenly on its feet with the rapid attack, its tail swished in an effort to blindside and swat aside the humanoid entity of chakra before it. Susanno sidestepped the attack, wings erupting from its back.

Neither Uchiha nor Senju noted the surprise on their individual faces as the erstwhile unseen display. Susanno has never flown before; even the Uchiha writings had never recorded such a feat. Corded tendrils blacker than night and as thick as an Akimichi's thighs tore itself out of the ground and hurtled towards Susanno at insane speeds. It tightened on the Uchiha constructs thighs and arms dragging it in at breakneck speed. The unearthly flames of _Amaterasu_ erupted all over Susanno and licked at the cords binding it. It devours anything it comes in contact with. Anything.

Well, almost anything anyway. Seals erupted all over the tendrils, glowing white and sucking in the _Amaterasu_ flames without a moments' hesitation. Hashirama leapt up towards the giant humanoid structure as it fell. Just before impact, Hashiramas skin turned the same black as the tendrils and smashed into the chest of Susanno. Right into Madaras dagger. Elemental lightening flickered over and around the length of the dagger.

The Hokage held on to Madaras arm, twisting and dislocating the shoulder completely. The two strongest shinobi in the world did not as much as wince at the damage done to both their bodies. Hashirama pulled his friend closer.

"I would die first Madara," Hashirama stated calmly, "than dishonor Izuna's memory. And you know it."

"He was a child when he died," Madara whispered, his entire body shook as the memory of his loss overwhelmed him. "He shouldn't have died. None of them should have."

Hashirama was more than familiar with Madaras loss. The Uchiha had lost every single one of his siblings before they were ten years of age. The Senju patriarch suffered a similar loss, all his brothers died except Tobirama. Izuna was Madara's exception. Izuna survived all the circumstances that had felled his other siblings. He more than survived; He thrived. Izuna grew into a seasoned warrior almost as legendary as his elder brother and together they had awakened a stage of the Uchiha _doujutsu _that had remained hidden for generations before; the _Mangekyo Sharingan_.

Yes, it was almost as good as it sounded. Two brothers together against the world, nothing stood in their way. That was until the Uchiha clashed with the Senju once more after Izuna's seventeenth birthday. Izuna, Madara's last hold to humanity, was mortally wounded by Senju Tobirama. He died shortly after. Madara's world collapsed and he lost everything. The only thread tying him to the earth was severed. The Uchiha clan he led, out of an emptiness of duty rather than passion. He ate, slept and trained only for the next battle with the Senju. Hatred eclipsed his loss and made him able to survive till the next day.

Now, years after he had barely carved out an existence for himself, Hashirama stood before him to declare that Izuna's legacy still lived on. How do you come to terms with that?

"He walked up to the village three weeks ago," Hashirama continued, "He had lived with monks till he was seven, and I can only assume he set out on his own to find his clan. And his family."

The two legendary shinobi were standing on the ground, both avatars of power were gone and the battleground was once again silent. Madara pulled his dagger out of Hashirama's chest, a tad roughly. Hashirama winced. The Uchiha would forever be a sore loser.

"Who was his mother?" Madara asked. "How do you know he is who he claims to be?"

"He never claimed to be anything," Hashirama defended fiercely. "I sensed your brother's chakra from the tower, I got there at the same time as Tobirama."

Madara stiffened and his eyes flashed red again.

Hashirama waved his arm frantically. "I know what you're thinking! No Senju would lay hand on an Uchiha ever again, never as long as Konoha stands. We were both drawn by Izuna's chakra. It was so strong in the boy. Uchiha elders cross matched his name with that of your brother on the Uchiha Genetic Pool Tablet. It confirmed the truth."

The Uchiha Genetic Pool Tablet has the genetic material of every Uchiha born. It was created for the Uchiha by their cousins, the Uzumaki, some ten generations ago. The Uchiha would readily and proudly affirm their relationship with the Uzumaki but it would take the shinigami's blade to draw out a confession of filial connection to a Senju from an Uchiha.

"What is his name?"

"Imari. Uchiha Imari."

"I will go with you to Konoha."

Imari.

The two men were walking the forests of the Fire Country casually, on their way to Konoha. Hashirama had swapped his Hokage gown and regalia for a casual kimono, a dusty cream colour with dirt brown sashes.

"Why were you wearing your maternity gown before? Bloody showoff."

"Easy. I knew it would piss you off."

"Cause I can't stand men in nightgowns."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Everybody knows just how much, or should I say how little, clothes you like men to wear." Hashirama leered.

Madara screamed himself hoarse. "For the last f*^king time I told you I'm not f#$king gay!"

"Who said anything about your sexual preferences?" Hashirama exclaimed. "We were talking about men's clothes. You're so touchy, jeez."

Madara plonked down right where he was, crossed his legs and clasped his hands together. He closed his eyes and held the position meditatively. He got up twenty minutes later. Drool was starting to drip off Hashirama's chin, his head hooked in the v of a tree trunk and his eyes blissfully shut.

Madara walked up to his friend curled along a horizontal tree trunk, quiet so as not to disturb the Hokage's much needed rest. Hashirama was dead to the world. A rare and quiet smile graced Madara's lips as he surveyed his friend. Such a kind heart, so very rare in the world of shinobi. He promptly and viciously kicked his dear, dear friend right off the tree. Hashirama hit the ground face first and very hard, Madara noted with a delicious sense of gratification.

"Wh .. what happened?" Hashirama groaned out, his dim eyes slowly opening.

"You were stupid enough to sleep off on a tree and then you fell off." Madara answered a bit too nicely.

Hashirama stood up groggily. "In order words you knocked me out of the tree. I'm telling on you as soon as we get to Konoha."

Madara's smile wasn't any less evil as he answered his friend. "I'm sure the council would be delighted to hear how the village traitor kicked the Hokage off a tree, in the middle of a forest that he has complete control over. I'd love to see you spin that one."

"I'm not telling the village council."

"Who were you planning to tell then? Gran-gran?"

"Nope. Mito."

Madara was already several steps ahead of his friend, chuckling wickedly, when he froze. He turned to his friend. His already porcelain skin was slightly more … porcelain.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"You wouldn't."

"I would too." Slightly more stubborn.

"You wouldn't Hashirama." A slightly desperate edge tinged the voice. "Why would you even think of doing a thing like that to me? We are best friends!"

"Cause you're a meanie and you kicked me off the tree!"

Madara was desperately looking for straws he could cling to, anything to escape the looming whirlpool called Mito. The Uchiha clan has had absolutely nothing but respect for their cousin clan for ages and no amount of bounty would move an Uchiha clan head to wage war on the Uzumakis. Madara has never encountered an Uzumaki in battle and hold no particular regard nor disregard for his cousins.

That was until he escorted his best friend to court his bride to be, the Princess Mito Uzumaki.

It was an historical moment for the Uzumaki, the three great clans were represented at the courtship of their daughter. For Madara it was boring, boring enough for him to trip his would-be-groom friend into a standing barrel of ale. Hashirama was naturally clumsy enough for the guest to laugh it off (and naturally good natured enough to allow his friend his sport). But what Madara never bargained for was Mito's reaction. She saw everything that happened, and like the arrogant Uchiha bastard he was, Madara could care less.

Madara's eyes spun open later that night as a portal opened in his room and Mito got out in her night dress. He told her in no uncertain terms that he would fry her like a pig if she even thought he would join her to betray Hashirama.

The statement probably saved his life.

They fought nonstop for three days in a sealed dimension accessible to only the princess. There they fought ferociously while Madara felt his strength dwindle, waning in ever perceptible amounts. Just before he could pass out from chakra exhaustion, Mito declared the _spar_ over, feigning tiredness and a need get some much needed sleep before the day breaks. She opened a portal into his room, pecked Madara on the cheek, declared that she would break every bone in his body if he ever makes her beloved a laughingstock (or accuses her of being unfaithful, the thought of it!).

Madara passed out on the bed hardly noticing that no time at all had passed in the real world. He has since then praised the wisdom of Uchiha progenitors who had made peace with the Uzumaki decades before his time.

Now his dimwitted friend threatens him with the same, the very same Mito! He has no choice but to pull out all the stops now.

"I'll tell her about the week we spent in Water Country before your wedding!" declared Madara, pushing his face into his friends, "I bloody well will not die alone!"

Hashirama backed away and whimpered in fright. "You wouldn't! Besides nothing happened between me and them ladies!"

"Oh I so would!" Madara bit back cruelly. "I know nothing happened but she doesn't! I kept the pictures too!"

Hashirama mustered as much hatred as he could possibly stir in one last look at Madara. It was piteously lacking, the laziest Nara would probably achieve better results.

"You're so evil."

"Deal with it."

"Fine. You won." Hashirama grumbled as he strode past Madara, kicking imaginary and non-imaginary stones and twigs out of his way.

Madara's knees nearly buckled in unfeigned relief immediately his friend went pass him.

"Oh," Hashirama's voice drifted back to him, "I forgot to tell you that her cousin asked of you."

Madara went red in the face and wiped off more than a few drops of blood from his nose. "Kin asked of me?"

The incredibly vivacious, not to mention curvaceous, Uzumakin Kin had also successfully abducted Madara for a period of seventy-two hours that was completely out of time and space. But for completely different reasons. A stupid shit-eating grin was stuck on his face throughout said day. He fled whirlpool country the day after.

Enough of sex crazed and battle loving cousins. He'll take his dysfunctional life any freaking day.

"Yeah." Came Hashirama's sly response. "And so did her brother."

Madara was puzzled. "Her brother?"

"Han. They share everything together." He looked back at his friend knowingly. "Everything."

Madara choked on his scream of rage and gave hot pursuit to his rapidly fleeing friend.

Hashirama grinned cockily as he ran for his life. Madara was so easy.


End file.
